One of my favorite holiday traditions is a really big family party. I mean a big one.

Happy guests make a happy party!

Last night I had about 150 people at my house, (can you imagine!) and it was a blast.

Somehow over the years, this party has become an institution.

My friends tell me that they actually schedule their holiday travel around the date of this party.

They say it’s the party of the season for them. I have some ideas why this event is such a favorite.

So today, while I’m in post-party recovery mode, I want to share the things I try to do to make this party so very special to so many people.

Remember, as a fundraiser, you are in a social business.

Like it or not. So much of fundraising happens in social situations.

I have long recommended that every nonprofit should aim to throw the best party in town. Because if you do, you’ll raise TONS more money.

See if you can turn your fundraising event into a fabulous party.

The difference between an event and a party?

At an event, you put people in a room, give them something to eat and drink, and hope they survive.

At a party, you put people in a room, give them something to eat and drink, and actually CARE about the experience they are having.

Raleigh's top fundraisers: Hope Hancock of the SPCA and Kathryn Yandell of the NC Museum of Art

Secrets to Throwing a Fabulous Party

1. Have interesting guests.

It’s NOT about the food, drink, house, location, flowers, etc.

It’s about the people in the room.  I’m picky about my guests. I like to have interesting people who are doing interesting things.

People all say that my crowd is eclectic.

There are bankers, lawyers, soccer moms, lots of nonprofit leaders, education leaders, real estate folks, artists, elected officials, tech gurus, college kids, 20 and 30 somethings. It’s not just one social group – which makes it more interesting.

My friends tell me that they meet so many interesting people at my parties. And I love that. I love introducing people to each other who would enjoy meeting.

It’s like Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates. You never know what you’ll get when you introduce two folks – invariably they  find common ground and become friendly.

2. Actively introduce people to each other.

I absolutely will not abide people standing by themselves looking and feeling awkward.

So I go all out to make introductions all over the place. I am playing “hostesss” much more than worrying about the food or the napkins.

If I see a guest standing alone, I’ll grab whoever is standing close to me and say, ” Tom doesn’t know anybody here, can you please go over and talk to him. He is the new director of the Opera.”

And it’s funny, but when someone gets an assignment like that – they are off and running to meet and greet that person. It’s a happy thing to watch.

People at your party have feelings. Help them have a wonderful experience. They will appreciate you forever.

3. Be casual, not prissy.

A quirky centerpiece sets a fun tone.

Be informal, not formal.

Formality is boring. It’s stiff, unpleasant, and can make you feel trapped.

Informality is welcoming. It’s easy. It’s happy.

Prissiness is never welcome in my house – or with my clients.

I am always trying to get people to loosen up and relax. I try to make people feel comfortable and welcome. When they relax, they can have a lovely time.

4. Welcome guests like they are your long-lost brother.

How you welcome people has a lot to do with their experience.

I will greet someone: “I”m SO GLAD you could come! It’s GREAT to see you!” And of course I mean it!

And when I am staffing or hosting a fundraising event for a cause, I greet people the exact same way.

And if someone arrives who’s not invited, welcome them as graciously as anyone else.

5. Welcome guests of all ages.

I was raised in the rural south, where we all socialized together from age 9 to 99.

LOVE it when the young folks come!

I was used to attending parties with the old and the young, and becoming friends with them all.

So when I moved to Raleigh and started having this party, it was my girls and me. All three of us were the hostesses.

We had an “all-family party.”

My daughters’ friends have been coming to this same party for 15 years. They look forward to it as much as the older folks. Now that they are all in their 20s and scattered around, it’s sort of a reunion for them.

6. Abundant food and drink.

I never want it to be said that I ran out of anything at my parties. I like a sense of abundance.

But I can’t afford to cater a party for that many people, so I hit Costco hard. I also buy barbecue and food from various places and set it out myself. It’s more work but it’s much less expensive.

I don’t have fancy food – but I do have a lot of it.

Last night I splurged on oysters. We FRIED several gallons of oysters on the back deck. Wow they were good.

Bartender Anthony Quiller, the life of any party!

We put the beer in my downstairs bathtub. I always enjoy saying “the beer’s in the bathtub!” It just sounds fun.

I have the world’s most wonderful bartender, Anthony Quiller, who has such an inner spirit of joy that he shares with the guests.

Sometimes when I invite people, they say, “Will your bartender Anthony be there?”

Bottom Line:

Make your parties – and your fundraising events – all focused on your guests.

Make them happy and comfortable. You’ll have more fun – and you’ll raise LOTS more money!

Wishing you lots of joy and happiness – and some fun parties – in this special season!

My daughters Ellie and Cassie!

It’s Thanksgiving here in the US.  It’s a time when we celebrate family, friends, and all the blessings of our world.

I rarely talk about myself and my own life here in my blog, but today I’m telling a bit of my personal story.

Here’s my list of the blessings that I am so, so thankful for!

1. My Children:

For my lovely, smart wonderful daughters, Cassie and Ellie!  They are my #1 blessing!

Ellie’s in law school and Cassie works for our congressman, David Price.

2. My Family:

Always a big time with the Perry family!

For my southern, wild, rambunctious, and very large family! When the Perrys get together it’s always so very much fun.

3. My Mission:

For the chance to make a difference in the world.

You may know that I care deeply about making the world a better place.

I’m so, so blessed to be able to spend my life energies working to help other people.

Terrific clients: Brucie Moore and Robert Reed of the Corpus Christi Symphony

4. My Wonderful Clients:

For all the terrific organizations I’ve been honored to serve as a consultant and retreat leader.

It’s an unbelievable pleasure to work with fantastic people to help them do an even better job.

5. The Fundraising Insiders:

For the incredible honor to serve the 72 Charter Members of my new Fundraising Insiders coaching group.

We’re gonna rock, roll and raise tons of money together! Not too late to join us – I’m personally reviewing some of their year-end letters this weekend!

6. YOU!

I am totally grateful to you, my reader, for your interest in my ideas and thoughts about improving fundraising and boards.

Thanks to you for taking the time and energy to work on your skills, expand your mind and keep pushing to become even better and better!

Gardening is a high calling!

It is my honor and deep pleasure to serve you and your cause.

7. My garden:

I’d really rather be gardening any time of the year!

Right now I’m planning a tulip and pansy garden for the spring. There’s no such thing as too many pansies!

8. The beach:

It’s a peaceful, joyful place for my family and me down at our family cottage at Nags Head.

I love just hanging out with the wind, the waves, the birds, and the clouds.

9. All our donors.

I’m grateful to the many donors – large and small – who give of their own personal resources to help others.

Nags Head, NC on the Outer Banks is close to paradise!

There are so many folks with big hearts who share their own wealth for the good of the world.

Lets’ all be thankful for our donor’s hearts – and their willingness to take actions that will make the world a better place.

Aren’t we in the most wonderful profession of all?

I think so!

Here are the number one, absolute essentials for writing a hard-hitting successful appeal:

1.  Use I and you words.  Keep it personal. Keep it between you and me. Make it intimate.

2.  Give them detail regarding what exactly you need and exactly how the money will be used.

3.  Show how the money will make an immediate and lasting difference.

OK – an  example:  a ballet company can write and ask for:

1. general support, OR

2. Help us pay our dancers; they make less than $xx/year and can’t even afford xxx.  If we can reach our goal to cover our dancers’ salaries, we’ll be able to (do this, and this and this)  and with more dancers, we can stage the ballets you know and love. Without enough dancers we’ll have  to eliminate dances from our repertoire.

Another example: A community college program helps foster youth when they transition out of the social services program to go on their own:

You can ask for a gift to “fund the foster youth program,” or

• $25k to expand the program, employ another coach/social worker, and bring in an additional 20 kids into the program. These kids are much more 40% likely to become incarcerated or pregnant than others of their age group.  Helping them transition to college gives them a new hope for the future. And they return as coaches to inspire the foster kids currently  in high school who may be thinking about dropping out.

You tell me which type of appeal works!

I am teaching today in Greensboro, NC at the AFP CFRE Review Course and the AFP First Course in Fundraising.  As usual, they have me talking about managing and motivating volunteers and board members.

In my last class, we had such a laugh over “Boards Gone Wild.“  What do I mean?

A Board Gone Wild is a well-meaning group of volunteers who gallop off in the wrong direction.  It’s the wrong direction because the plan or project they are espousing is not well-planned, not well-thought out, has unintended negative consequences, and cannot be pulled off with the current staff and human resources on hand.

Here’s a typical example: Board members are desperate for easy fundraising short cuts.  Board member Bob recalls a golf tournament that made over $75,000.  (He never saw all the back end work that made it happen – he just saw a seamless event on the day of.)

Other board members grab on to the idea. To them this seems like an easy way out.  Let’s do a golf tournament!  No matter that we will need to pull it off within a six week time frame, leaving little time to solicit sponsors.  Not a problem!

If we can’t do it then the staff can help, right? No matter if it’s not in our fundraising plan, we can heap additional stuff on our already overworked staff easily. No matter if they will have to bail out our non-performing volunteer group at the last minute.  No matter if all our major donors have already been solicited recently, we can always go back to them.  And on and on.

Meanwhile the staff has fainted.  They  know what the fundraising plan is for the year and it sure doesn’t call for a golf tournament. They know that golf tournaments, of all things, require an enormous commitment of organizational time and energy to be successful.

The staff is trying to speak up but they are brushed off in the wake of the board galloping down the road to a possible disaster.    Can this board be saved???

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not picking on golf tournaments.  In fact, they are excellent fundraising tools when planned for properly and when supported with appropriate staff and volunteer energy. They are just the example I am using.

There are many examples of Boards Gone Wild.  It could be a pancake supper (groan), a new staff member or fundraising consultant who will be the silver bullet, something called “grantwriting” that will be the magic solution to all the organization’s challenges.

What’s YOUR EXAMPLE of a Board Gone Wild?

Come on and share your own experience!